An Observation

I wrote this in my journal last night.

July 21, 2009.    It has been a roller coaster day.  It started with worry, morphed into fear, exploded with jubilation, and ended with a slap in the face.  I feel like some people don’t give a crap about me.  But I have this journal that I made from scratch. This is MY world!  Mine!  No one can tell me what to do or who I am in my world. I AM FREE!

I know this is self-indulgent and whiny claptrap, but I did notice something as I wrote it.  I really did feel as if I had more power and control as I processed my feelings within the cover of my journal.  Furthermore, it took on even more dimension and force as I put the paint down on the page.   It occurred to me that when I pick up my journal to write or paint, I do feel as if I am passing through a gateway into a different reality, one of my own creation.  I can do anything in my journal and no one can tell me I’m wrong or foolish.   Then I thought of our discussion here of thresholds and their significance.  Passing though the archetypal doorway, over the threshold, transforms the inner person.  I believe there is power in this act, the power to create a new and better reality.  I get it now and have a whole new appreciation of the journey on which we are all about to embark.

L. Gloyd (c) 2009

9 responses

  1. To find a place where you can be YOU is so important. That your journal does this for you is a victory over the forces who try one way and another to put you down…reshape you in their image. Keep up the good work.


  2. Your journal is absolutely gorgeous and as Tristan Rainer, and so many others have pointed out, you do have control when you turn to the one you can completely trust. Such a container is invaluable.

  3. Wow Lori – as I’ve said before you are really inspiring me to get journalling again and to make a special journal just for this stuff.

  4. I love your journal and the freedom you find there to be you – an inspiration for sure!

  5. I will be encouraging everyone to choose a medium and consistently use it to express being with Hestia. It seems to me that you are leading the way. I can feel my fingers itching. I really do need to pick up those pencils again. Your page is a thing of beauty.

  6. immediate response – no! – not whiny or self-indulgent and definitely not claptrap – ;). Within your beautiful journal you are speaking to you, the most important one!
    Yet another gorgeous journal page – mmmm sticking to one medium is going to be hard for me if you keep this up

    1. Thank you, Jill, for reminding me of this. Here I go on about how no one can tell me that what I write in my journal is wrong or foolish, and then I go about saying that very thing! LOL!!!

  7. I love the blues and gold of the pages – they reinforce the sense of being born into a new realm

  8. the juxtaposition of the classic Venus art with the drawn palm possibilities is wonderful.

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