On my birthday I decided that it was time to make changes in my life. I wrote a goal list and now I am working towards accomplishing these goals. I want to share my journey with you in hopes that it will inspire you, too, to take the plunge into living the life you have always wanted.
I believe wholeheartedly in the law of attraction because as I learn more and more about it, I can see clearly how I have manifested everything that has come to me – both good and bad. What I have been struggling with over the past few years is the “bad” that I manifested. How can I avoid manifesting things that are seemingly so disasterous?
There are two ways to look at this. First, is that I manifested bad things and I need to find a way to stop doing so. The second is that what I manifested was exactly what I needed in order to get out of a situation I was stuck in. Basically, my desire to move forward was greater than the fear that was holding me back. I choose to believe this way of looking at my past. I have to believe that there are no mistakes because my two biggest so-called mistakes resulted in my two beautiful children. Can I ever look at them and say they were a mistake? No. Do I believe they could have come to me in any other way than they did? No.
So, manifesting bad things has to be false. Now, if only I could truly believe that. Maybe it is that I want to believe in the bad so I can have an excuse to stay stuck because moving forward into the unknown is so uncomfortable. If there is one thing I do know as truth, it is that when there are lessons to be learned, the same situation repeats itself until those lessons are learned, oftentimes with more urgency/severity.
I would love to say that I have set my fear aside and am jumping fearlessly into a new and improved existence, but I would be lying. Instead I am taking some small steps and some big steps towards creating the life I want to live. There will be failures, there will be successes, but what I am hoping for this time around is that I won’t let either of them get in the way of my growth and progression towards the life I envision for myself.
Steps I have taken:
- SMALL STEP ONE: I bought Louise Hay’s Morning and Evening Meditations iPhone Application . I listen to these affirmations each morning and night and they are having a profound effect on how I view the world around me – especially in the morning. I am not saying it is all rosy, but things I need to work on are clearer now than they have ever been. (Don’t have an iPhone, you can buy the CD)
- SMALL STEP TWO: I got out my copy of Louise Hay’s Heal Your Body A-Z and wrote down the explanations for each of my ailments and its corresponding affirmation from her book. I was astounded that each of my ailments had a very similar underlying belief and yet there was not one underlying belief that surprised me.
- SMALL STEP THREE: I looked up alternative ways to exercise. My cable company has Fitness TV on demand. I am in extreme pain quite often, but I found a Walk at Home workout that seems very manageable. Now I will incorporate it into my daily regimen.
- BIG STEP ONE: I have made the decision to apply to transfer to a new MFA program that will provide me with the experiences and education I need to guide me into the next phase of my life. This step is one filled with fear. It requires me to step outside of my comfort zone. It is a highly acclaimed writing program and I am experiencing daily feelings of anxiety that come from the belief that I am inadequate as a writer and don’t deserve such a program. This is what changing my life is all about though – taking risks! I am afraid of rejection and what that will say about me, but choosing to take such a big step is opening up so many things about myself that I need to work on – especially the little voice that constantly chants that I am not good enough, not good enough, not good enough.
What am I reading now to help support me on this journey? Infinite Possibilities by Mike Dooley