A Journey, a Search

An invitation came the other day, and I thought I might answer it. It said that another portal to Lemuria might be opening up, and if I would like to come along I was welcome. I thought that it might be what I have been needing.

It’s been a long year. Medical troubles, a death in the family, the wedding of a daughter – the world had changed significantly for me, and sometime in the confusion, my muse, the She Wolf, ran away. She hung around for a bit, and I wrote a little, but lately she rarely comes at all, and I am growing lonely without her.

Chaos, confusion…I have sought refuge and counsel where ever I can find it, but my muse has not been there even when some peace has been found. So today I’ll pack my bag for Lemuria and go hunting for that portal – and my muse.

I’ll put on my hiking boots – my big knee-high boots that She Wolf likes are gone along with her, wherever she is; likewise the blue wool cape and the wolf-headed hiking staff and the leather pack. So I’ll use my hiking boots (though the hand-knit wool socks are the same) and my jeans and ordinary jacket and plain old back pack and find a stout stick to use for a staff.

I’ll pack my sock knitting and spare wool, because I can knit socks anywhere and it calms me down. I’ll pack a change or two of clothing and my toiletries, and that little bamboo flute that I still can’t play for beans since I never remember to practice. And then I’ll take pens and pencils and paper – blank books, several of them. I would like to take my laptop and iPod, but there isn’t any guarantee of power where I’m going. I’ll add in a few basic camping supplies and a water bottle, and tie a rolled-up blanket to the whole thing since you never know what’s going to happen.

And then I’m going to go looking for that portal. I’ve found it in strange places before, but usually it scoops me up before I know what’s happening. I haven’t had to look so hard for it before. I hope I can find it…

And I hope I can find She Wolf. I miss her, with her wild ideas and crazy notions and no-holds-barred approach to life; the way she can just close her eyes, take a deep breath, and tell a story, just like that. I hope it wasn’t anything I did that chased her away, and I hope I can find her on the other side of the portal, wherever that might be.

– Jane (c)March 2010

8 responses

  1. I’ll bet you find your beloved SheWolf patiently waiting for you, always sending you love and support, especially when you can’t feel it.

    Do you remember times when the silliest thought would pop into hyour head, and make you laugh in spite of everything tyeing you to the everyday time. That was SheWolf.

    Step through the Door fear nothing and remember to Dream BIG.


  2. I am sure that She Wolf will help you find that portal. Indeed, I hear her as you talk of what you are packing. Like you She Wolf yearns to roam free for awhile and Lemuria is just the place to do this.

  3. I like your journey and your search – being a relative newcomer to Lemuria I don’t really know much about She Wolf but I can relate to who you are now as you set out on your journey after a year of troubles. I’m on a similar one and like you, am seeking a way in to a deeper part of self.

  4. You will find your beloved She Wolf, of that I’m sure.
    Just keep looking and she will appear suddenly, probably at a moment you least expect to see her.


  5. i reckon She is waiting for you – up ahead just a little way away – where one of the tricks of light,or a slight tilt of the head will reveal her.

  6. Like all canines, She Wolf has gone wandering but she’ll return to her den soon.

  7. Yes, I have been missing your voice too, I have read a beautiful book, Little Fur, by Isobel Carmody it made me think of you.

  8. She Wolf is wild at heart and may have gone back to that place that where she howls with the sheer joy of her freedom. But she would never leave you without inspiration. I’d be willing to bet that you will either find your worlf or find a new muse all together!

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