The map of my heart

I sit here alone in the centre of the map

The map of my heart.

I am living it,

I am being it,

I am it.

Where is the demarcation line

between the inner and the outer?

The lines of the map,

As I see them now,

Dwindle and disperse.

So many roles and ways of being are now no more.

So many things have ended, changed.

I sit in the centre,

The void between the lines.

I can no longer say,

I am a this,

I am a that.

I could say that I am nothing

A zero on blank page

I have no job,

I am a not primary caregiver,

I am not a primary relationship,

I am not a this,

I am not a that.

I could say I am zero

Then again I could change the way I think.

I could say the zero  is a  circle

– the  Zen circle of pure being.

I listen to the wind blow,

I gather my resources,

I move my mind and learn to sit in the circle

The seed place

I slip back to zero again and again and again.

I see myself as a face you’d pass in a crowd then forget.

Then, for a brief instance, I sit in the circle

– the beginning place

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10 responses

  1. Beautiful – and meaning-filled. There is so much potential in the beginning place, the seed place, isn’t there?

    1. Thanks – yes – the beginning place feels like a drink of water from a cool mountain stream

  2. Yes! Yes! You get it! Learn to sit in the circle, the seed place! I had to go away on a trip so far away from everyone I knew and be anonymous to be able to do it. To feel it again. The role-less-ness is a goal, not a depletion. It is a finally returning to essential Self. Thank the gods, Child. Ssshhhh…you were lost, and now ye are found. Hold still in the circle. All will be well. You are loved.

    steph

    1. Thanks Steph – Role-less-ness as a goal not a depletion – it sounds like a mantra. Your words are like a talisman to hold on to.

  3. love the last line – and whatever we think we are we need to find that zen I think….

  4. committed to being yourself-I like that-

  5. I am really drawn to the image. It perfectly augments the poem.

  6. oh i love that, the “seed place” – wonderful, wonderful expression of where you are at, a place only too familiar – your poem is full of the potential of planting a new step on the way – beautifully done .

  7. Wonderfully written with such deep thought. And the image perfect to match your words.

    Vi

  8. This is familiar space Sue. I seem to have been struggling similarly. To sit in that space seems to be the most positive response to this feeling.

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